It was as good as you would expect it to be. Ok, if you’ve stuck around this long, you’re probably wondering how the new “Winnie The Pooh” movie was. Oh, well, stupid New Yorkers don’t have no taste any how. Hang on, I’ll be back………………… ok, I’m back. But, you know what? I don’t care! I love pooh! That’s right, I love Pooh! I love Pooh so much, I’ll scream it from the roof tops! In fact, that sounds like a great idea. Was the world crying out for another “Winnie The Pooh” movie? Nope. Netflix says: Winnie the Pooh and his loyal friends return to the big screen with an updated, hand-drawn adventure in the Hundred Acre Wood: helping an incomplete Eeyore find a new tail that won't be too much of a bother. ![]() ![]() Skip “Hop”… it may be one of the only Easter-centric movies, but that doesn’t make it the Easter staple it vies to be. Ok, I chuckled once or twice, but it wasn’t worth all the eye rolling moments and groans of disappointment. The characters are annoying and it’s chock full of repeated ideas from every other CGI animation from the past 15 years. Here’s the story of how I became the first human Easter Bunny.” Thanks for killing any bit of salvageable tension in the first minute of the film, guys), and it’s just not a fun movie. Why offensive? Because they add a fucking “Easter sleigh” pulled by magical flying chicks, they give away the ending in the very first scene of the film (Paraphrased: “Hi, my name is Fred O’Hare. Meanwhile, the lead chicken at the Easter factory is readying a coup against the Easte… you know, there’s no need to go any further with the story. He runs away and meets another slacker (Fred O’Hare played by James Marsden) who was just kicked out of his parent’s house. Yeah, the fucking Easter Bunny doesn’t want to be the Easter Bunny. A mix of live action and CGI animation, it tells the story of an entitled rich brat who just wants to drop inheriting his father’s business to be a rock ‘n’ roll drummer. Matt says: The studio behind “Despicable Me” and “The Lorax” predated the latter film by a year with this turd. Burdened with a cranky, cotton-tailed houseguest and a bout of intensive egg-delivery training, Fred finally begins to grow up in this hilarious and touching blend of live action and animation. Netflix says: Unemployed slacker Fred (James Marsden) suddenly finds himself uncharacteristically busy after he runs over the Easter Bunny and has to not only nurse the gimpy rabbit back to health but also take over his duties so that the holiday can continue. It’s not perfect by any means, but out of all the modern Seuss adaptions, “The Lorax” is the least harmful to your memories. It retains the important central message and also add some super cute/funny moments that lighten what is agreeably a somber story. A CHASE SCENE! ARGHHHH!!! It all would be a childhood crushing abomination if it wasn’t handled with grace from the makers of “Despicable Me”. In fact, the Lorax himself probably gets less screen time than the chase scene at the end. Unfortunately, they did so with the typical modern CGI cartoon tropes: the cool grandma, the clueless parent, the inquisitive main character, the love interest who, by thinking outside of the box, inspires the main character, the evil industrialist, and plenty of cute animals. Since the book only takes about 15 minutes to read, they needed to pad the shit out of the plot. The movie amps everything in “The Lorax” up for the ADD generation. It’s a sad, sweet tale that, with “The Giving Tree”, was one of the first books I remember owning. The main message to children is that, even though industry is an an inevitability, as long as we care about repairing the damage there’s always hope that the next generation (yes, you little boys and girls!) can change things for the better. It doesn’t paint big corporations as evil entities, just blind ones. Seuss’ book is a strong statement on industry and its impact on the environment. ![]() Seuss classic features the voice of Danny DeVito as the Lorax, a forest-dwelling creature who labors to prevent the short-sighted Once-ler from decimating the environment in order to turn a profit. Netflix says: This animated adaptation of the incisive Dr.
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